Wednesday, 15 April 2015

A 3 Year Olds Guide To Baking

Step 1) Do NOT wear an apron. When baking it is essential you get covered from head to toe in every ingredient. 
Step 2) Always press your hand down on the scales just as your parent is measuring out ingredients. 
Step 3) When cracking an egg in to the mixture, ensure at least half the shell goes in to the bowl.
Step 4) Stop for a moment to eat one of the edible fairy cake toppers
Step 5) Repeat the words "mine, me do it, my turn" throughout the whole baking session
Step 6) Ensure that when you stir the mixture you do it with a flicking motion so that  50% of the mixture  goes on the cupboards
Step 7) Lose interest for 5 minutes because you saw a bee through the window
Step 8) Cry because your parent carried on baking without you when you lost interest
Step 9) Cheer yourself up by eating another edible fairy cake topper
Step 10) And another
Step 11) Ask if it's ready yet
Step 12) Using the flicking method again, flick the mixture in to the paper cake cases ensuring you cover the floor also
Step 13) Make a train across the kitchen counter out of biscuits from the biscuit tin 
Step 14) Ask again if its ready yet (you need to ask this approximately 2 seconds after your parent has put the mixture in the oven)
Step 15) Once the cakes come out of the oven, scream for a while, or throw yourself on the floor because they're too hot
Step 16) Eat an edible paper cake topper
Step 17) Refuse to ice the cakes 
Step 18) Put the edible paper cake toppers on. Ensure that when you do this you press it in so firmly that you leave a huge hole in the centre of each cake
Step 19) Cry because there isn't enough toppers to go on all the cakes because you ate them 
Step 20) When cakes have cooled, take a bite out of each one and lick off the icing