Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Confessions Of A Puzzled Mummy

1) I have never wiped food off your face with my hand and then eaten it myself to avoid having to get up off the couch

2) I have never taken photos of you throwing a tantrum for my own personal amusement 

3) I have never cried & had flashbacks because you projectile vomited after you choked on some calpol and I thought I'd nearly killed you. 

 4) I have never rushed you to the GP at 3 weeks old convinced you had meningitis, only to be told it was dry skin

5) I have never felt so guilty after your vaccinations that I bought you a £10 Mickey Mouse birthday cake when it most definitely was not your birthday, just to lessen the guilt

6) I have never told you that my job is a dinosaur hunter in an attempt to pry you off my leg when I have to go to work, and also to make you think I'm awesome!

7) I have never put my hand on your chest at 3am just to check you're breathing and accidentally woke you up

8) I have never made pretend phone calls to Santa when you are misbehaving in a desperate attempt to make you stop

9) I have never hoovered you after you've  covered yourself in food at dinner time

10) I have definitely never, ever, done any of these things.

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