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Saturday, 16 May 2015

10 Days of Grossness

When it comes to boys there is no limit to the endless tirade of yucky stuff they do & say. When they reach a particular phase in life the whole world revolves around poo, wee, trumps and bogies....or is it just mine? I've taken 10 different days in which Oliver did something that made me shudder and compiled them in to one lovely long yucky list. I intend to keep this list & present it to his first girlfriend. It's only right that she should be prepared for what she has let herself in for.
Over a period of 10 days Oliver has: 

1) Asked me if he could wee on the wall on our upstairs landing

2) Did a poo and jumped off the toilet. I asked him to sit back on the toilet so he could wipe his bottom to which he informed me that if he sat back on the toilet the poo that was in there would go back up his bum?!

3) Asked me where my willy was. I told him I was a girl and I didn't have a willy. He became extremely concerned that without a willy I couldn't wee and insisted I needed a willy.

4) Informed me that his willy was "too big!"

5) During a meal at a restaurant I left the table to use the toilet and as usual Oliver followed. As I was sat on the toilet (number 1 not 2!!) Oliver insisted that he needed a wee also. Instead of doing the logical thing & waiting for me to finish, he decided to walk round the side of the toilet and wee down my back. 

6) To the tune of Scooby Doo Oliver has sung "mummy stinks of poo" on a daily, if not hourly basis. 

7) Asked if he could poo on my head

8) Passed me a bogie and demanded I eat it

9) Asked me if I'd like to look at his poo

10) wee'd in my bath.

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