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Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Collecting Kisses

Over the past couple of days I have been collecting 'kissing selfies' of parents and their children. Here's why.
It has been all over parenting news recently that comments have been made by Dr. Charlotte Reznick in regards to kissing your child on the lips. According to Dr Reznick we should stop kissing our children on the mouth, as she believes it is "too sexual." 
She gave the following statements in order to validate her point: 

1) If mummy kisses daddy on the mouth and vice versa, what does that mean, when a little girl or boy kisses their parents on the mouth? 

Is this a trick question? Some kind of screwed up riddle? Let me have a go at cracking it. I'm guessing that Mummy & Daddy kiss on the mouth because...erm...well...they love each other? They are showing affection? And as for what this means when a parent kisses their child on the mouth, then I'm going to hazard a guess here and say I'm pretty sure it means the same thing! Where does the sexual part come in here? Kissing is different in many cultures. Some cultures kiss on the mouth, some kiss both cheeks, and some rub noses! But the one key thing they have in common is the fact that it's a display of affection. 

2) If I had to answer when to stop kissing your kids on the lips, it would be now

Ok, well first of all I'm pretty sure no one asks the question "when should I stop kissing my child on the mouth," but let's for one weird, messed up minute, pretend that they did. 
If I had to answer that question i'd probably say there will come a time when your child no longer wants to kiss you at all, never mind on the lips. Just the same as they will stop holding your hand or needing you to tuck them in to bed at night. Kids develop, they grow. They will no longer require you to feed them, bathe them, toilet them. And at some point they will probably be embarrassed to walk down the same street as you. So don't sweat it! 
Secondly, if I were to take your advice Charlotte, are you really telling me that although I have been kissing my child on the lips for 4 years, I am now supposed to suddenly stop?
What reasons would I give for this? When my child innocently comes to me for some love and affection and I coldly push him away and do not allow him to kiss me, how do I justify this? 
How about this, "mummy can't kiss you on the lips darling as it's an erogenous zone and I don't want you to think I'm being sexual"
I'm pretty sure even my four year old would know that was bullshit!

3) Kissing on the lips can be stimulating

Wait...what? Stimulating, to me, in regards to a child means something that engages them, motivates them. A stimulating activity for my child is a walk in the park, looking at nature, different colours and shapes.
If me kissing my child stimulates him I would hope that you mean it motivates him to show affection to people he loves, engages him with the feeling that he is loved unconditionally.
But I get the feeling that's not the kind of stimulating your are referring to, in which case I highly advise you to stimulate yourself in to seeking psychiatric help. 

4) It's just too confusing

I think it would probably be more confusing for a child if their parent stopped kissing them in the way they always had. What thoughts do you think that would provoke in a child?
I think the only person who is confused here is me. 
I'm confused as to what I can and can't do with my child for fear of every action being sexualised.
I'm confused as to what I will be told I can't do next? Will I be advised not to bath my child for fear of touching an erogenous zone that may cause stimulation? Will I be advised not to Breastfeed? Change their nappy? See them naked?
Hell! Let's just make c-sections the compulsory way of giving birth to ensure our newborn children don't see our vaginas during labour and have to deal with the trauma of it for the rest of their lives. 
Perhaps Bounty could start recommending blindfolds and mitts as part of a newborn starter pack! 

Do you not see how ridiculous this is? 
Parents live their life day by day hoping they haven't done something to potentially screw up their perfect, innocent child. The last thing they need is bollocks like this, causing them to question their every move and action.
When did it become normal to sexualise our children in this way?
Let our children be children!

I am asking everyone who is as disgusted by these claims as I am to upload a kissing selfie on my Facebook thread in an attempt to show that we will not put up with this ludicrousness! 
Let's make a stand to these outrageous comments and show that we will not put up with our children and our relationships with them being sexualised! 

Let me see your kisses by clicking on the thread below!


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9 comments:

  1. Very well said. I dread to think what she would make of the little ones kisses at the moment. He's not yet learned to close his mouth! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

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  2. Very well said. I dread to think what she would make of the little ones kisses at the moment. He's not yet learned to close his mouth! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

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  3. Totally agree with you! Someone said we won't be able to give birth soon as they come out of the vajayjay and God knows how that'll mess 'em up!

    #FridayFrolics

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  4. What an absolutely brilliant post. Funnily enough I've naturally found myself no longer kissing my 11yo daughter on the mouth but I still do my 5yo girl and 8yo boy as it does feel a bit strange now. But I do agree with you. These doctors that come out with this stuff...you do have to wonder what kind of emotional baggage they're carrying to come out with this stuff?! The bit about newborns and vaginas. Hilarious! It's gone too far, the sexualisation of every little thing to do with kids. I don't know when it got so effed up (pardon my French).

    #FridayFrolics

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  5. Trying to share this on my social media pages but you don't seem to have any social share buttons?

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  6. The only reason I avoid kissing my kids on the lips is because they are walking petri dishes and I don't really want to ingest the drool and mucus that general comes with it! But I totally agree -- it's a ridiculous piece of pseudo-science. #bestandworst

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  7. Very well said lovely! This did make me chuckle! I can't get over how crazy that news story was. Comparing some innocent kiss on the lips to something sexual is insane. I for one will not be stopping.Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst and see you again x

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  8. Very well said lovely! This did make me chuckle! I can't get over how crazy that news story was. Comparing some innocent kiss on the lips to something sexual is insane. I for one will not be stopping.Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst and see you again x

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  9. Argh I was FURIOUS about this!!! My boy and I *both* kiss our sons on the lips. Both the twins pucker up and ask for kisses and it would be weirder — and more damaging — to turn away and NOT give this kind of affection. Well said lovely — great post. If I ever manage to get a pic of me kissing the babies, I'll definitely post it on your page! Thanks so much for linking up with us — hope to see you next time :) #TwinklyTuesday

    Caro | www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

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