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Tuesday, 15 September 2015

We Don't All Have A Great First Week At School

A lot of the blogging world this past week has been filled with new posts surrounding first weeks at school, as first time school mums share their experiences of this new phase in their children's, and their own life.
Each time I open a new post I hope to see some sign that another mum is actually having a pretty hard time, but instead I've been greeted with phrases such as "he skipped in through the gate and didn't look back" and "I've made friends with most of the mums in the school yard, and we've even arranged a day to meet for coffee when the children are at school"
I'm deflated.
As you probably know, I'm an honest blogger. I try and reach out to mums who are actually having a pretty shitty time, and need someone to say "hey! I'm having a crappy time too! Let's make sarcastic jokes about it and cheer ourselves up!"
So here is my experience of the first week of school. 
Every solitary day that I have dropped my son off, he has cried (except Friday - understandable). And I don't mean he has whimpered in a cute, adorable fashion. I mean he has screamed, kicked and wailed, in a "someone is about to murder me" fashion.
Every drop off has resulted in me throwing him at the Teaching Assistant, whilst simultaneously trying to pry his chubby little hands from my hair, skin, eyelids, or whatever other piece of my being he is clinging on to. 
I have then had to speed walk to the door, dodging all the well behaved children who are sat maturely, waiting for their toast.
It takes me every ounce of effort not to sprint at 100 miles an hour, screaming "get me out of here!"
It takes even more effort for me not to open a bottle of whiskey at 9am.
I haven't had chance to make friends with fellow parents, as I spend the entire time silently whispering mantras to myself to keep cool, don't make eye contact with anyone, don't let anybody see I'm bothered.
My defence mechanism after the whole saga is to laugh and joke about it, in a deranged attempt to convince myself that every mum must go through this. I'm not on my own.
But I am on my own.
Why is this only happening to me?
And if it isn't just me, then why is nobody else talking about it?
Somebody talk about it! Please. 
I can take the fact that on his first day he had a toilet accident. I can take the fact that this morning we had to stop for a wee in the woods (a ploy by Oliver to stall the inevitable school drop off), I can take the fact that he's a summer baby and is a little less developed than some of the other kids, and I can take the fact that other people are looking at me and my son as we are peeled away from each other inside the classroom.
I'm used to it all. Oliver has never been easy. You only have to read through my past posts to realise this.
What I can't take is the feeling of utter isolation. Nobody is speaking up. Nobody is saying "oh my child does that too! Thank god I'm not the only one!"
So I guess it's up to me to speak up.
My first week of school has been hell. I'm close to developing a twitch.
There must be someone else out there.
Anybody?
Speak up!
The face says it all!

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

5 comments:

  1. You're not on your own. My kids don't go to school yet as they're both under four BUT I'm a teacher. Last Thursday I sat in front of the door for 35 minutes until one child had calmed down enough not to try and make a run for it. She screamed. She didn't want a cuddle, she didn't want anything except her mum (well until 9.30 when I managed to lure her into the classroom with stickers)! Every year I have at least two who sob. And not just on one day. Everyday for a week or two. It'll get easier I promise. In the mean time, maybe some Baileys in your morning coffee?!

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    1. Ooh I like your thinking! Walking to the kettle as I type! I think parents get so involved in the children starting school that they forget there are some mums out there that are really having a hard time too! Your comment really cheered me up! Thankyou :)

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  2. You are so not alone! After a home visit from the pre-school manager where my daughter tried to climb out a window and my son threw a toy saucepan at her head I feared my little girl would not go quietly to her first day at school. The manager assured me all children settle after a few days... I am on week 2 and the screams at drop off can be heard in the next borough!!

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  3. You're SO not alone. And I bet you're not a alone even in the playground cos I'm damn sure there are other parents there with kids reluctant to go in. the playground politics are so hard to begin with... You assume everyone is judging you when really MOST (and I really mean most) are feeling shitty for tens of thousands of reasons too. You will find out when you eventually get chatting to some. Unless you're reallllllly unlucky and they are all a bunch of bitches. Hehe. Statistically that's probably not true tho. In the meantime. Vent on Twitter! :) SOMEONE will hear you! ;) xxxx

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  4. I had two children like that, my first child and my last (the middle two just 'sailed in'). It was so much easier for me with my last child because I'd learned by then that everything would be OK and she'd settle down eventually. And also to be honest, by that stage you're just not so bothered, you don't have the energy... So my advice to parents experiencing this (or in fact any problem...) with a first-born is 'Pretend it's your fourth!' ;)

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