Monday, 2 October 2017
Blogtober: Solo Scaredy Cat Parenting
* I wrote this post early this morning before I was aware I had to stick to a sodding theme every day for Blogtober. I originally removed the post with the intention of writing a new one to fit in with the theme, which today is 'Babies'
But then I realised, this post IS about a baby. A massive big baby, in the form of ME! Because this weekend I solo parented, and turned in to the biggest baby on the planet
It's Monday, and over the weekend I've been solo parenting whilst my 'baby daddy' has been away with work.
Now my usual response to him going away is
"YAYYYYYYY! THERE'S SO MANY THINGS I CAN DO WHILST HE'S AWAY!"
Being the exciting and adventurous person that I am I made big plans.
Plans to retire to bed at 7pm with the kids every night and read my new Stephen King book (which I've been trying to read since March, but that's a whole other blog post).
I remember the days when excitement would usually revolve around a planned night out with friends, a music festival, or a tropical holiday. Now I get excited about going to bed and reading. The result of being a mum and tag teamed by your two kids all through the night.
On Friday night I put my 11 month old daughter to bed and then jumped in to bed with my son to tell him a story.
I woke up in his bed at 11pm, the side of my cheek wet with slobber and wondering
"Where the fuck am I?"
"WHO the fuck am I?"
I hobbled in to my bedroom (my back in tatters from being used as a human mattress as I slept) took one look at my enormous (empty) bed, and turned back round. The room was too dark and empty, and there was a thick blackness coming from the cracks of the bathroom door which joins on to our bedroom (Note to self: stop reading Stephen King)
I was much safer in the kids room.
Plus! What if someone broke in and I was in a different room to the kids!
In fact, what was that noise downstairs?
On Saturday I didn't fall asleep, but I didn't read either. Instead I subjected myself to watching Stephen Kings 'Gerald's Game' on Netflix and scared the shit out of myself so much that, you guessed it! I had to spend the night in the kids room again!
At one point I didn't even dare get up to use the bathroom.
Has anyone watched it yet? I read the book a few years back. The guy who appears in her bedroom is terrifying.
What if I see him?
Did I lock the doors?
I only checked them four times before I came up!! (Note to self:
Stop watching Stephen King)
What sensible adult who has the role of main caregiver for their children is too scared to get up and use the bathroom and has to sleep in the same room as her kids?
And why, when already scared, does that adult purposely visualise more scary stuff to further increase the risk of having a cardiac arrest over absolutely fucking nothing, at 8pm on a Saturday night?
We're not even talking about the witching hour here! If it was summer it would still be light!
Don't get me wrong, I parent alone quite often. I'm also used to being alone in the house at night whilst the children sleep. But somehow the idea that no one was coming back for a few days had me panicking.
On Sunday night I started questioning how I would deal with things if I were a single parent?
I'd have to move, it was simple. I'd need to be nearer to family. That way I could at least call them & ask them to pop round, or even see their house from my living room window if I was feeling afraid.
I'd need a flat. Stairs are no good for someone who reads horror and has a vivid imagination. They're untrustworthy. You don't know who is creeping up them! And flats don't come with gardens, which is good, because I always leave my washing hanging out until it's dark and then terrify myself bringing it in. Have you ever seen that opening scene from the first IT movie where the Mum is hanging the washing out? There's no way that clown is getting it's jaws on me!
I picked up my phone and navigated to 'Rightmove' on the internet so I could find a suitable property. I was halfway through browsing pictures of a luxurious flat with a gorgeous beach view when I realised I was not a single parent and this stupidity was eating in to good reading time.
Also. Flats are so expensive! Well, the kind I'd like anyway! So I probably couldn't afford one on my own and would have to get someone to move in. Which would then defeat the object of getting a flat in the first place.
I was quite disappointed. I'd been starting to look forward to it.
I did warn you in my first Blogtober post that I think too much. The part about me being a nob head is seeming pretty relevant too.
I can imagine my partners face when he asks me how my weekend was.
"Oh, I spent two nights terrified and hiding in the kids room and on the third night I browsed through flats I can move in to when we break up"
So, you know, I'll just tell him I read and stuff.
Technically, flat hunting is a form of reading.