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Sunday, 29 April 2018

Should You Give Your Teenage Daughter A Vibrator?

I don’t really watch daytime television, so I’m not up to date on the current issues that Phil & Holly, or The Loose Women bring to our screens every weekday. However sometimes, snippets of This Morning will filter in to my Facebook newsfeed, and on one morning in particular this week I watched an interesting clip about a sex expert suggesting teenage girls be given sex toys by their parents. 

We’re all adults here, yes? We can talk about this stuff? 
Good! Because, like always, I have an opinion. 

First of all, let’s stop waving our dildos in the air for a minute and calm the fuck down. We need to strip this back to basics and look at why this is even an issue in the first place. 

Because even in 2018, the behaviour expected from our children is completely and utterly directed by gender differences. And I’m not even talking about the clothes we put them in and the toys we steer them towards (although obviously this plays a factor). I’m talking about the scripts we follow within society and how we push them upon our children.

We chastise our daughters for ‘behaving like a boy’ and we ridicule our sons for ‘acting like a girl.’
Even if as parents we avoid this shit, we’re still surrounded by a society who doesn’t. 

As a parent to a boy who had long hair I’m no stranger to random comments in the supermarket about how "he needs a haircut because he looks like a girl" or how "he would look like such a big boy if his hair was shorter"
Peers of the same age make comments about "crying like a girl,” and we wonder why boys grow in to men who can’t express their emotions and repress their feelings. 

My daughter, who likes to throw a good left hook, will probably soon be subjected to comments about how "ladies don’t hit" and how they should “pick up flowers, not snails.”

Even at the age of 34 I’ve been referred to as a "ladette." I drink pints, I swear. Sometimes I even scratch my arse in public! These behaviours don’t fall in line with what a ‘girl should do,’ and therefore society created an entire new identity for women who act like men, instead of seeing our behaviour for what it is. Women who act like whoever we are and don’t conform to the bullshit.

Females are painted as delicate flowers who need to be respected and looked after, however, parents who are too afraid to talk to their children about sex are happy for them to become teens and refer to porn which shows these delicate flowers being pounded like a piece of meat. And boys think the girls enjoy it. 

Which brings us to the topic in question. 
It’s expected of boys to masturbate. They’re doing ‘what boys do!’ It’s openly discussed between 15 year old lads in the classroom. I remember! But heaven forbid a female should state she did the same! Shock horror! What a dirty slut! She’d be ridiculed. 
Doesn’t this girl know that her only part to play in sex is to be pummelled, and moan at the right times, for a mans pleasure?

You can’t expect a female to be repressed by following society’s expectations of ‘girls’ and then hand her a dildo at age 14 and say "I’m sorry you’ve been moulded and shaped by society, but here’s a sex toy to make up for it."

What. The. Fuck.

Until we allow our children to be who they are, regardless of the genitals they were born with then this shit is not going to work. It’s quite frankly, ridiculous. 
Our daughters are taught to refer to their period as a ‘star week’ and squirm with mortification in a public toilet at the thought of someone hearing a sanitary towel being changed. Imagine their face when you pass them a rampant rabbit over the dining table, after they’ve eaten their evening meal like a ‘lady’ whilst their brother scoffs his with one hand down his pants for good measure. But it’s ok! He’s a boy!

Ok, I know I’m over exaggerating. But you get my point, yes? 

So quit the bullshit, let our children be who they are. Talk to them. Educate them. It’s life. 

And here’s news. Like your sons, your daughters will discover their genitals wayyyy before they hit their teens. Probably before they even say their first word. They’re not born repressed or afraid of their bodies.


That’s something they learn. 


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